'Have sex', pleads Kirsten

If India ends up lifting the ICC Champions Trophy next week, their success can possibly be attributed to a revolutionary new coaching approach adopted by Gary Kirsten: encouraging his players to, erm, get busy.

MS Dhoni and troops have received a four page document written by the former Saffer international turned coach, who reportedly says his players should "go ahead and indulge" in the hope of increasing on-field performances.

The advice is so good we may as well let it speak for itself:

"From a physiological perspective, having sex increases testosterone levels, which cause an increase in strength, energy, aggression and competitiveness.

"Conversely, not having sex for a period of a few months causes a significant drop in testosterone levels in both males and females, with the corresponding passiveness and decrease in aggression."

All bases are covered in the document - including advice for those not reaching first or second base with a partner. "If you want sex but do not have someone to share it with, one option is to go solo while imagining you have a partner, or a few partners, who are as beautiful as you wish to imagine."

"No pillow talk and no hugging required. Just roll over and go to sleep," the document adds.

If you see a sharp rise in Stick Sports morale and productivity over the next week or so, you'll know why...

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